And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
