Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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