Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
