when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
