Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Randomize
