my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I understand Curling. That high.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
