Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's blow job season.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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