She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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