to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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