I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
