So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
