i just wanna soil my oats bro
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
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So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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