and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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