Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
