put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
someone owes me an orgasm
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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