So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
