sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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