dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
