i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
