so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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