She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I FOUND THE LEGS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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