There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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