The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
