I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drake has all the answers
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
