whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
