Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
