How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
