Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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