he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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