I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize