im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
