Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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