it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
