38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
MIDGETS
????
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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