Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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