Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
