i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
