would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Everclear isn't food dammit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
