Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
