its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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