I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
