I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize