Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
