my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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