i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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