Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
