My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize