its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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