What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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