The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
