okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My penis needs a shock collar
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
