why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
