i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
