I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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