it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
