yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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