We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
