that's an acceptable place to lick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
