yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize