So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
