So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
