your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
