I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
