Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I will die if light touches me.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
