I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
two words: eviction party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
